HarlemLIVE

It was the middle of the night on October 15, 2001 and I felt terrible. It was as if I was in a fight by myself with a whole bunch of people jumping me and fighting against me. It was the feeling that several people were kicking me constantly in my stomach and I was just in an extreme amount of pain. Oh my gosh! I thought I was going to die at any given moment. I was in a dark dark place that no one would ever want to be in his or her lifetime. It was like a black hole and I was just falling through screaming my lungs out.

When I woke up the next morning everything I felt the night before just seemed like it was a dream. The nightmare and all the feelings I previously thought I was going through all didn’t matter anymore, I thought it was over. I was wrong once again. The nightmare was far from being over for this young 5th grader. After a rough night I got up out my bed to get ready for school.

After yawning, stretching, and rubbing my belly that was killing me the night before, I got up and headed straight to the bathroom. I did my daily routine that I used to do every morning before school. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, wiped my face, and as always after I did all this I had to use the bathroom, so I did that next. Oh my goodness! As I started to use the bathroom I looked down at my underwear and saw something I’ve never seen before. What I saw was the most disgustingness thing I had ever seen. My underwear was filled with this stuff. I could have never imagined what this thing was and I really don’t think I wanted to know nor do I think that I was actually ready to find out.

“WOW!...OMG!...Why is this happening to me?,”  was the first thing I said once I realized what had actually transpired. The first thing I did was look in the cabinet under the bathroom sink to see if there were any products down there; some luck I had I had come up empty handed. I had to call my mother who was on her way home from work, so after pacing back and fourth in my small bathroom I got the phone out my room, went back into the bathroom and then dialed my mommy’s cell phone number. As soon as she picked up and said hello the first thing out my mouth was, “Mom I have something to tell you. I got that thing that women get. You know that thing I’m talking about.” “Charisma what are you talking about, you speaking in codes like I understand you,” said my Mommy. Her not understanding what I was trying to tell her and inform her about was really pissing me off and then I just came out with it because I was so mad. I’m still in the bathroom pacing back and fourth, still bleeding, and I just wanted everything around me to stop. I felt like I had nowhere else to go as if I was trapped. I was so scared I was only ten and this was just too much for me. I said, “ Mommy I got my period gosh.” She then said, “Isn’t any “stuff” (sanitary napkins) in the house?”

In my head I’m being such a smarty pants and saying does she think that I would really be panicking this much if there were “products” in the house, of course I would of called her anyway to tell her what happened but she was just getting me angry. I felt like Carrie from the movie, I was just so bloody. I was so dumbfounded I didn’t even think to put anything on as a substitute while I waited for my mother, who said she was on her way to save me. I was confined to the bathroom. I just sat on the toilet seated and waited for my mom to arrive.

This day, overnight I changed from a young 10-year-old 5th grader, to a woman. What a huge changed that occurs over just one night; a changed that affected my life then and still my life today. This change I feel that at that particular time was just too much for a ten year old to have to endure so early and young. It was a great change that made me mature much faster. No matter how I felt about then I just had to learn to adjust and accept this new change that I had to undergo.

I didn’t even know what the whole purpose of the menstrual cycle was. All I knew was that it meant, I wasn’t pregnant and that my body was changing. But at the same time I figured that if it meant I wasn’t pregnant than why didn’t I get it long time ago. I was only ten what did you expect. Of course after that terrible and life changing moment I got to school late; well at least my mom gave me a ride. I got to school feeling so weird with this “weird thing” on. I told my friends what happened to me and as 5th graders they knew a lot for their age saying things such as, “Charisma how you get that so young?,” or “Charisma that means you’re a woman and that your growing up,” or “Charisma don’t feel bad your not the only one in the world who gets that?” After talking to my friends in school about it and later having to have the after “menstrual talk” with my mom when I came home I wasn’t so scared any more.

When I was ten, I became women. Over a period of an eight-hour sleep, I had grown up and received a big responsibility. Not only did I have to obey my elders, do good in school, and do whatever I my mom told me to do, but now I also had to be responsible and take care of myself in a big way. I was a little embarrassed at first when I had to take on certain responsibilities that came with this “new thing” called menstrual cycle, like “changing,” but after a while I got used to it. The only thing I could do is accept and adapt to this new change because whether women like it or not we all have to go through it so it’s something we just have to deal with. When I was younger, I used to wish I was a boy so that I wouldn’t have to go through this whole menstrual thing but…WOMEN RULE!, we are able to carry life inside of us, why wouldn’t I want to be a woman. I AM A WOMEN THAT GETS THIS THING EVERYONE AND EVEN WITH ALL THE PAIN IT CAUSE I’M STILL AROUND TO BE WHO I AM…A WOMAN.