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Posted 8/15/02

Ms. Perfect
by Reuben D. Quansah

 

In the process of developing my idea of my ideal woman, I was going to do it on a hypothetical basis. However, I felt that it was important for me to be practical and realistic; that is how I would like may ideal woman to be. Obviously, I am sure that a woman would also have several traits for a man that would suit her. The same goes for me. There is a basic criterion that a lady must have that suits me.

I would like a woman who I can dub as “lady like.” I feel that when I speak to ladies, I put forth manners of a gentleman and I would like a lady who would respond with the same courtesy. If feel that if a woman is to be my soul mate, she must be aware of herself and she must be true to herself. I believe that if a woman can identify and know herself, she would be willing to have deeper feelings about me. Also, I would be able to do the same because the dynamics in our relationship would not be base on superficial communication.

I feel that my ideal woman must be highly educated. Education is too essential to pass up and I find that to be very important. I would prefer that my ideal woman not be a widow, but if she is, I would be willing to be with her during her hard times. I also say the same about children; I would prefer that this woman does not have children but if she does, I would help to rear them.

I would prefer that my ideal woman not be in debt. I do not feel that I am willing to go out of my way to help because of the dividing problems that may possibly arise when money is the root of the problem. I would find it easy for myself to offer money at times but hard to receive. I am used to not asking for money from anyone except my immediate family. I have the security that no problems will arise. To be secure, I would like a woman who can well manage her money. I would prefer that she has good budgeting skills. Knowing how to budget has always been an issue in my family so I feel I want to carry that on.

In my strive to develop good health before my old age, I do not feel that a woman who smokes will help aide my pro-wellness. I would like for my ideal woman to understand that smoking yields nothing beneficial; she must understand that smoking can only hurt her and me and that taking part in that habit should not even be an issue.

More than religious, I feel that my wife should be spiritual. I feel that a woman who is religious and not spiritual is probably just following the institutional confluence for her own personal reasons. However, I feel that one who is very spiritual is one who can help me develop myself through her own self awareness. When referring to location I would like my ideal wife to be close to me. I feel that it is important for our relationship to last and become stronger as the years go by. However, if we are not close to each other and we are not able to learn about each other completely, the relationship may not last. I believe that emotionally, my wife must be ready to nurture and take care of me ;I feel I am willing to do the same and more. I find that emotional availability is very important because it can set the tone of the relationship. If my spouse is not available emotionally, my relationship can possibly fall apart due to the misunderstandings that can arise and the insecurities that may develop. For example, I would have the impression that my wife does not care for me if she does not show any emotional support when I may be walking around our home grumpily and sad. My wife will also have to be physically and emotionally available. For example when I am feeling down or depressed, my wife would have to show some physical affection. I feel that the combination of physical and emotional availability can give me the strong impression that my wife is striving to make me feel happier. I would prefer that my wife come from a culturally submerged, family. Also it would give me an idea of the type of person and family that I am dealing with. It would be of my assurance that my wife is coming from a good close-knit family.

I believe that maturity is more important with age, thus I would prefer a woman who is extraordinarily mature. I feel that that is how I am, thus a woman who is like that would make communication comfortable for me. However, I feel that it would be mature for me to have an ideal woman at an age similar to mine. I feel that a woman who is like a peer to me would make me feel most comfortable. A woman who is below my age range may still be experiencing life trials that I should not interfere with. A woman older than my age range would probably have the same affect on me and interfere with my experiences. This interference that I refer to is a love and self desire interference.

 

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